When School Feels Hard: Supporting an Anxious Child
- Leah Corbett
- Jan 26
- 2 min read
Children can feel anxious about school at any time - not just on the first day. It might be the start of a new year, a new school, after time away, or simply a day when everything feels a bit harder than usual.
School nerves are common and normal. With calm reassurance and a few simple strategies, children can be supported to move through these feelings and still head into the classroom feeling safe and capable.
Start by acknowledging the feeling
Before trying to fix the worry, let your child know you see it:
“I can see you’re feeling nervous today.”
“Sometimes school days feel harder than others - that’s okay.”
Avoid rushing to convince them there’s “nothing to worry about.”
Being heard often helps children settle more quickly than being talked out of their feelings.
Help them feel connected to you
Tell them something you’re looking forward to doing together after school.
Draw a small temporary tattoo or symbol on their arm (and one on yours).
Kiss the inside of their hand and remind them they can hold it to their cheek if they feel sad. Your love is so strong it can’t wash off!
Send a small comfort item in their bag (a crystal, shell, photo, or something meaningful).
Give them something “brave” to hold onto
A brave necklace worn under their clothing.
A worry stone or quiet sensory object that fits in a pocket.
A simple phrase you practise together, such as “I'm feeling scared but I can be brave."
Use the teacher as a support
Let the teacher know your child is feeling anxious so they can help them settle.
Ask if your child can start the day with something calm, like books or a puzzle.
Some teachers may offer stickers or a small routine that helps your child feel connected and settled.
Focus on strengths
Share positive feedback from the teacher with your child. “Your teacher told me how carefully you were painting the other day.”
Praise effort rather than outcomes: “You felt nervous and you still gave it a go.”
Set the morning up for calm
Arrive early so there’s no rush.
Keep goodbyes warm, confident, and brief.
Be calm and steady, even if you’re feeling emotional inside - children borrow our confidence.
Preparing children for school
If your child is starting school for the first time, starting at a new school, or needing extra reassurance, previewing what school looks and feels like can help reduce anxiety.
Reading stories about school together helps children:
Understand what to expect
Normalise worries
Open up conversations in a gentle way
My children's book Starting School: A New Adventure is designed to support these conversations and help children feel more prepared and confident about school.
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