Anxious about School
I've put together some practical ideas for what to do if your child is anxious about going into school. Just remember it won't last forever. Be a strong leader for your child especially in that moment, don't fuss over them and make sure you follow the same routine for saying goodbye each day so it's securing to them because they know what to expect.
• Get the teacher’s attention so they can help find something to do to help settle them. They might like starting the day off looking at books or doing a puzzle so the teacher might be available to assist with this.
• Draw a temporary tattoo picture on their arm (kind of hidden especially if you’re at a more traditional school!) You could have a matching one on you too. Every time they look at it they feel connected to you.
• The teacher will have stickers and if you give them a heads up they could have the child choose one for you to wear today and one for them to show you are connected.
• If no stickers even just kissing inside their hand and telling them to hold it to their cheek if ever they feel sad. It will be with them all day.
• Take a small crystal or something of yours with them (safely in the bottom of their bag) and if they’re sad they can look at it or hold it and think of you.
• Wear a ‘brave necklace’ under their top close to their body giving them strength. A special necklace they’ve been given as a gift perhaps or a shell necklace you made together after going to the beach. If the school doesn’t allow jewellery, talk to the teacher - perhaps they could wear it walking in and put it safely in their school bag before morning tea time.
• Have a worry stone, or a little toy or squidgy thing in their pocket they can fiddle with when feeling nervous. (A quiet sensory toy is ideal). This site has a lot of good options but think small, quiet, and fits in a pocket.
https://sensorysam.co.nz/collections/fidget-toy-kits?page=1
• Comment on something the teacher has told you they noticed in your child to keep things positive. E.g. “Mrs Corbett told me how careful you were the other day when everyone was painting. She must really like having someone responsible like you in the class.”
• Make sure you get to school in time so there’s no rush, and your child has time to settle into the day before the teacher takes the register. Before school is when friendships begin and it’s more relaxed for everyone when there’s no stress racing against the clock!
Both have crystal in pocket hold onto think of each other
Photo in pocket, spray perfume they think of you when sad in day
Arrange to meet a friend outside, wait for them and walk in together holding hands, brave together
Arrive early, don’t rush the goodbye. Parent go in too and draw a picture together then leave for child to continue and say “I can’t wait to see what you add to the picture, show me at pick up”
Role play how the goodbye is going to go with lego people, dolls.
Discuss ahead of time how you understand it will feel hard, this is what we’ll do, practise in comfort of own home and then celebrate that afternoon what went well - just like we practised yay high 5 us!
Ask the child for a solution, surprised at what they can come up with.
Make sure they’ve eaten a snack in the car so you’re setting up for success.
A little container with heart stickers/pictures and all family members blow kisses in the container, put lid on and seal in the kisses. Tuck it into bottom of bag - there if he needs it.
Draw heart on his wrist and heart on mine.
Small soft toy bottom of bag
Draw funny picture in his lunchbox.
Take small bite out of sandwich.
Teach him to take 3 big breaths and blow out all the butterflies in his stomach, gently rub them telling them he’s safe
Put laminated photo of parents in bag
Reassure him it will get easier, he’ll get braver and you will love him no matter what