How long does it take for children to settle into school?

It’s difficult to put a timeframe because every child adjusts to school at their own pace. Some settle quickly, waving goodbye with confidence, making friends, and engaging in activities from day one. Others may take most of the first term (or longer), observing from the sidelines before joining in. Some children might feel anxious, be visibly upset, act out, or regress in behaviours like bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, or baby talk. This is understandable because starting school is a big deal! There is so much ‘newness’ to take in so of course they feel overwhelmed!

You may even have days and weeks where you think wow this is all going well and then they surprise you with big emotions and some level of school reluctance. These reactions are all normal. Like everything, the phase will pass. Respond with patience, connection, and reassurance.

How to Support Your Child:

• Communicate with their teacher to create a plan.

• Role-play school scenarios at home.

• Stay after school for casual play on the playground.

• Offer reassurance—setbacks are temporary!

• Help them make friends
  

Everything is better at school when you have a friend by your side. Support your child with these simple tips for making a new friend:

• Smile, be friendly, and show interest in others. Don’t be annoying or rude!

• Ask, “Can I play next time?”

• Compliment a classmate (e.g. “I like your shoes!”)
  

If your child is anxious about going into school I have a list of practical suggestions here.

Building Resilience

Resilience is key to adapting to new experiences. It’s the ability to face challenges, find solutions, and keep going despite difficulties. Tricky new situations like starting school certainly build resilience, however do avoid a “sink or swim” approach. You know what is too much for your child and what they can cope with. Support your child by allowing small challenges and resisting the urge to fix everything for them. Encourage problem-solving and celebrate their efforts.

Keep checking in how school is going (especially over the first month or two) so they know they can talk to you if something is bothering them.

Manage your own anxiety because children pick up on your emotions. Even if school brings back difficult memories for you, avoid projecting fears onto your child. Show confidence in their ability to adapt.

Key Milestones:

• Around Week 4, the novelty and adrenaline wears off—children get tired and realise school is a daily routine.

• Celebrate 100 days! It marks over five months of growth, reinforcing that adjustment takes time.

• If struggles persist beyond two terms and you haven’t noticed any progress, arrange a meeting with their teacher and other staff that could be helpful – school counsellor, deputy principal, SENCO. However do not wait this long if you are concerned – you know your child best!

  
  

Your child’s journey into school life is a process. It’s normal for children to feel nervous, and for parents to worry. With support and patience from you and their teachers, they will adjust.