How to Prepare your Child for School

Across New Zealand, teachers are noticing a worrying trend - and it was picked up in an article in the NZ Herald over the weekend - many children are arriving at school unprepared - not academically, but in essential everyday skills. While some can recite the alphabet or count, they struggle with dressing themselves, managing emotions, or even holding a pencil. The hard truth? Parents are unintentionally contributing to the problem.

The Real Issue: Practical Skills Over Academics

It’s easy to assume that early reading and counting will give a child a head start, but teachers know that being ‘school-ready’ is about much more. The most crucial abilities are practical and emotional:

• Independence – Can they dress themselves, peel a banana, or use the toilet alone?

• Resilience – Can they cope when things don’t go their way or when they have to wait?

• Social skills – Can they share, listen, and play with others?

• Fine motor skills – Can they hold a pencil, use scissors, or zip up their jacket?

• Problem-solving – Do they have opportunities to try, fail, and figure things out for themselves?
  

The problem is, modern parenting often strips children of these learning experiences. Many parents, pressed for time, default to doing things for their child rather than letting them struggle and learn. In the rush of daily life, it’s faster and easier to tie their shoelaces, pack their bag, or solve their problems for them. But when children aren’t given enough opportunities to try, they start to feel helpless - or entitled - and the cycle continues.

How Parents Can Help

The good news? Small changes can make a big difference. Here are some practical ways to help your child develop these essential skills:

1. Encourage independence through hands-on learning

Busy schedules make it tempting to micromanage, but children need hands-on experiences where they have an opportunity to try, make mistakes, learn and figure out a solution. 

• Let them dress themselves, put on their own shoes, and carry their own bag.

• Involve them in simple household tasks like setting the table or tidying up.

• Ask, “What’s something you’d like to try by yourself?” and create space on a weekend to practise it.

• Be patient - stepping back helps them build confidence, problem-solving skills, and resilience. Yes, it’s quicker to do it for them, but they’ll never learn if you always take over.
  

2. Build emotional resilience

Learning to handle frustration is key.

• Allow them to experience small setbacks, like waiting their turn, losing in a boardgame or having to rebuild something that broke.

• Teach them to name and manage emotions (“I feel frustrated because…”).

• Encourage perseverance - let them struggle and problem solve before stepping in.
  

3. Develop social skills

Interacting with others builds confidence and self-esteem.

• Organise playdates and let them navigate small conflicts.

• Teach basic manners like saying “please” and “thank you.”

• Practise taking turns in games and conversations.
  

4. Boost fine motor skills

Strong hands make writing easier later on.

• Let them practise using scissors, crayons, and playdough.

• Encourage activities like threading beads or doing puzzles.

• Involve them in everyday tasks like buttoning shirts or spreading butter on toast.

Small Actions, Big Growth

Being school-ready isn’t about hitting academic milestones early - it’s about building the everyday skills that help children engage in learning. By making small adjustments and allowing children to try, fail, and succeed on their own, parents can give them the strongest foundation for school - and life.

Click here to read the article in the NZ Herald.